America The Beautiful

I couldn't eat the turkey during Thanksgiving because it didn't meet my (admittedly arbitrary) dietary moral guidelines. Man, FWPs

I Thought Technology Was Supposed To Make Our Lives Easier, Part 2

I got a new cell phone, but since some of my numbers were saved to my phone and not my SIM card I had to take 25 minutes to transfer them into the new contact list. And those 25 minutes were during a football game that I would otherwise have been watching. Man, FWPs

A Perfect Storm

I had to back into a parking spot today which, god, I don't even like using that stupid reverse camera okay? And then, after everybody criticized what was obviously nothing short of a triumph over circumstances, I couldn't take my diet coke into a meeting, despite being tired, because nobody will consider my happiness or whatever it was I bitched about, extensively, at the time. Now I can't even remember. Man, FWPs

Opposite Day(??)

I feel 1: Maybe I am sick enough to be at risk of catching my own Tuberculosis and 2: Bill and Melinda Gates have not done enough for me, specifically. Man, "DN"Ps

I Just-- I Just Don't Want To, Eli.

I don't. Man, FWPs

Feeling A Little Passive Aggressive Today, Are We?

Neither of my co-bloggers are showing nearly enough commitment to this endeavor. How am I supposed to make this a legitimate meme all by myself? Man, FWPs

I've Got Love For You If You Were Born In The '80s

Both my cell phone and laptop are out of commission, and I feel naked. Man, FWPs

internet.......?

can't read internet and listen to Freakonomics audiobook anymore because i have to go to costco and buy bulk salmon for my pescetarian girlfriend tomorrow morning, Man, FWPs

"Brave Despite Tough Circumstances"

The treadmill in the gym at my house doesn't have a good place to put my ipod, so every 2minutes-ish I have to reach down and shift it about 10inches to the right so it doesn't jostle off the display ledge. This doesn't really interrupt my simultaneous watching of sports on a large TV, but still. Man, FWPs

Sophie's Choice

Can't decide if I'm "racist" or "just racist enough." Man, FWPs

The Joys Of Fall

It took forever for us to finish making our pumpkin/butternut squash soup, so by the time it was ready I was really hungry and ate way too much. Man, FWPs

As Good A Reason As Any

"I'll die if I can't have a slurpee. I'll kill myself." Man, FWPs

They flavored my iced coffee even though it was my regular coffee place and now it is undrinkable. Man, FWPs

Total Quack

I lowballed the shit out of my drinking habits and my new physician said I had a "problem" (other than his poor attitude). Man, FWPs

We're Almost As Cool As Trekkies

A friend of mine won't concede that "Star Wars" is sci-fi and not fantasy. Man, FWPs

I Have To Go To The Doctor Today.

The Doctor. Man, FWPs

Parents Just Don't Understand

Went to go lay out by the pool only to discover the cushions had already been put away for the harsh Southern California winter. Man, FWPs