And to Think He's Getting a PhD in Computers . . .

Jake (aka "James Broof") just emailed me to say he's not listed as a "member" of this blog--and he really wants to be!--even though all he needs to do to be listed is follow it. Some people . . . Man, FWPs

Genesis? Again? Then Consider Me Ready To Exodus This Phone Call

Why is it that every time a business's customer service line puts me on hold the first song to come on is by Phil Collins--and it isn't even from the Tarzan soundtrack? Man, FWPs

New Media Was Never Supposed To Make Our Life Easier

I'm struggling to get my Twitter account to keep a double-digit number of followers. Man, FWPs

Ring, Ring, Ring . . . Motherfucker!

Come on--who sets their voice mail not to pick up until a dozen rings? Man, FWPs

A Blogger Must Know His Audience, Part Deux

Only just now did I realize that the Blogger stat tracker has an option that allows me to have it not count my own pageviews. If I had only known this earlier, I could have gained a much more accurate picture of my readership, and done a better job of giving them just what they wanted--nay, needed! Man, FWPs

A Blogger Must Know His Audience

I don't know whether the Heather McPhee who signed on as the first non-author follower of one of my other blogs is the US Winter Olympian Heather McPhee (about whom I said some rather unflattering things in one post), NFL Players Association Associate General Counsel Heather McPhee (who might be preparing a suit for libel against us), or another Heather McPhee altogether. And not knowing who reads the things that I write on the interwebs is kind of unsettling (I mean, isn't the internet supposed to be private or something?). Man, FWPs

This Is Really, Really Serious

I just watched the first two parts (147 minutes) of "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" on StageVu, but the last hour (which includes the battle of Helms fucking Deep!!1!) is nowhere to be found. Man, FWPs

The Interwebs Are So Complicated

The apartment's wireless connection kept cutting out during my fantasy football draft, and I couldn't sign on on either of my roommate's smartphones quick enough to make my last three picks. Man, FWPs

Blackberrys Are Second-Class Citizens

My roommate's new iPhone recognizes songs on the radio much quicker than my BlackBerry. Man, FWPs

Does A Walkie-Talkie Still Count As Technology?

My walkie-talkie doesn't clip into its holster solidly (yes, directors all carry around walkie-talkies at camp--ridiculous, I know), so it keeps falling out whenever I move faster than a walk, attempt to take two stairs at a time, or stop abruptly. Man, FWPs

Microsoft Works . . . Or Does It?

The computer in my office at camp doesn't have Microsoft Office. If my job were being described by a TV Guide sitcom synopsis writer, it would have to be said that "hilarity ensues" every time I try to open or print a Word document. Man, FWPs

One Time, At Band Camp

They shut off the wireless internet at the summer camp I'm working at because kids try to sneak in iWhatevers with wifi capability. So now, when I want to use the interwebs, I have to go over to the director housing next door and actually plug an ethernet cable into the router. Man, FWPs

If Only She Had An iPad

I had to use my boss's iPhone to post on Twitter in real time about a media event we ewre hosting, and the phone's color scheme was thoroughly emasculating: purple, with pink trim. Man, FWPs

The Burdens Of Friendship

Trying to stay in touch with people who aren't in the same state as I am is taking way too much time away from my drinking. Man, FWPs

My Mother Actually Told Me This After Watching A Documentary (?!?) On The Topic

Did you know that cell phones give you brain cancer? Man, FWPs

I'm Sure This Racist Somehow

The bank was closed when I wanted to deposit my checks, but because they were uniquely-formatted paychecks the instant-deposit slot on the ATM wouldn't accept them. Man, FWPs

I Don't Know Whether This Piece Of Technology Does Or Doesn't Make My Life Easier

I just went in on an mlb.tv account with my roommate, as I do every spring, and tonight I discovered that MLB archives great games from the past and allows you to watch them online in their entirety with an mlb.tv account. I just wasted 45 minutes of my life watching Kerry Wood's 1998 20-strikeout game. I'm sure that will only be the beginning. Man, FWPs

Another Way My Work Computer Sucks

It only has Microsoft Office 2003, so I can't view any of your fancy .docx or .xlsx files. Man, FWPs

Damn You, Zuckerberg!

Facebook has changed its layout yet again . Man, FWPs

Computing Like It's 1999

My work computer is so old that I can't even watch youtube videos on it. Man, FWPs