It's An Acquired Taste

I wish someone had told me that Whole Foods puts black olives on its veggie hummus wraps so I could have asked the deli guy to hold them. Man, FWPs

You Know The Super Bowl Is Coming When Both Frozen Pizzas AND Lonestar Are On Sale

We don't have a Tupperware anywhere near large enough for our leftover slices of Randall's pizza. Guess that means I'll just have to eat more . . . Man, FWPs

Genesis? Again? Then Consider Me Ready To Exodus This Phone Call

Why is it that every time a business's customer service line puts me on hold the first song to come on is by Phil Collins--and it isn't even from the Tarzan soundtrack? Man, FWPs

At Least My Team Isn't Coached By A Man Who Posts Foot Fetish Videos On YouTube

The Patriots just got knocked out of the playoffs, and Red Sox players don't report to spring training until next month. Man, FWPs

New Media Was Never Supposed To Make Our Life Easier

I'm struggling to get my Twitter account to keep a double-digit number of followers. Man, FWPs

More Like ...Sucking? TV

"Well on a more serious matter I think I just OD'd on Sour Patch Kids on this flight bc my FUCKING tv didn't work." Man, FWPs

Ring, Ring, Ring . . . Motherfucker!

Come on--who sets their voice mail not to pick up until a dozen rings? Man, FWPs

Since When Is The Southwest The First World? (That's Right, I'm Looking At You, Phoenix)

I can't tell whether the fuzzy green spots on my southwestern-style tortillas that have been in the fridge for two-and-a-half weeks are mold or whether they're delicious and spicy flecks of flavor. Man, FWPs

muklahakahiki, come on you wanna lei me, pass the poi, mahalo, kujunjago kujunjago

i just got laid off from my job, and i can't even start to look for a new one because i'm leaving for a hawaiian vacation in like a week. man, FWP's.

CHOW CHOW RIGHT MEOW MEOW: "It won't let me write meow meow, it just keeps correcting to Nepal" -Jake