"Your peanut costume sucks[, Christian]. What are you, a potato?"

"I have the hiccups." -Christian

"Throughout The Series, Harry Potter Has Struggled With The Inherent Difficulties Of Adolescence Along With Being A Famous Wizard."

-Wikipedia (edited for brevity)

Wow--a cracking voice, hair in funny places, feelings you don't understand (and that you're quite sure nobody else could), and being a famous wizard? Man, FWPs

Parteesh Doesn't Even Know He's Auditioning

"Now where the fuck are my slippers?!?" Man, FWPs

You call yourself an artist?

Subway "Sandwich Artists" basically have to do one fucking thing: wrap up the sandwich right. I went to Subway, they didn't wrap my sandwich right, and the sauce and ingredients fell out on the way home, which ruined my day and made me righteously indignant. Man, FWPs

I can't eat food this way

I went to Taco Bell and they didn't have any fire sauce. How am I expected to eat T-Bell without my 3 packets of fire sauce? Man, FWPs

I Do Not Know How To Express Two Emotions At The Same Time

I have to forge a check (due to being: broke; left alone in LA to handle "things") just to mercy kill my poor old dog. Man, FWPs

Ohh, Papa!

I want to eat my Papa John's pizza now, but we don't have any Cholula in the car. Man, FWPs