Only A World Champion Belgian Cyclist

"I was very drunk. I do not know what happened, but the next day I tested positive for cocaine." Man, FWPs

Eli, Everybody

I'm not hungry, but I still want Ritz. Man, FWPs

Good Thing I'm Not Trying To Be The Best At Exercise

My luxury suite at the Kings game didn't have any food. Man, FWPs

Living In The Lap Of Luxury

I left my lunch on the charter bus and had to pay for a personal margherita pizza and cup of lobster bisque at the Yard House. Man, FWPs

The One In Which A Cartoon Expresses My Feelings

Conforming sucks. Man, FWPs

Can't make a post title when writing from my blackberry. Man, FWPs

I Want My Crapple!

I slept through the soft drink service on my flight, so I didn't get any Cran-Apple juice. Man, FWPs

Technology Does Make Our Lives Easier

There was no wireless at my friend's condo in Seattle, so we couldn't download the 3rd season of Friday Night Lights and had to settle for the abortion that is Season 2. Man, FWPs

Classic Edition

There was too much strawberry in the pint of neopolitan ice cream my boyfriend got me, even though he knows I like chocolate more. Man, FWPs

(Jake Menashe, DontDateHimGirl.com)

Dream, Deferred

How is it even possible to live without a Roomba. Man, FWPs

Goddamn

It is basically the worst when products get advertised on tv before they're available in stores. Been at least a week, guys. It's not like we navigate by the stars anymore, so get your shit together. Man, FWPs

I Thought Technology Was Supposed To Make Our Lives Better

My cell phone's predictive text doesn't predict the word blog. Not even on the third or fourth option. Man, FWPs

The Yuppie In His Natural Environment

I've got to print a resumé (and on fancy paper, at that!) and get it to Indianapolis by Thursday, but there's no FedEx Office within three miles of campus. Man, FWPs

Somebody Call Al Gore

Had to take the second string Lexus hybrid today, so didn't know the radio presets. Man, FWPs

Let's Take A Pedeconference

Can't watch West Wing by the pool, even though it's nice out. Man, FWPs

First Post, First Problem

You know what I hate? When you try to create a blog about first world problems, but the domain name firstworldproblems.blogspot.com is already taken. And so is 1stworldproblems.blogspot.com. Man, FWPs