So Full

There is so much free food in the fridge at my parents house that I can't fulfill my craving for cheap Mexican food. Man, FWPs

Google

I subscribed to the blog using google reader but it isn't updating in real time so I'm a post behind (and probably two now). Man, FWPs

But I Want To Fly For Free

If I take a one way flight by 1/10/10 I get a free round trip ticket, but I took too long to buy the cheap ticket to LA and now flying down there would cost as much as a normal round trip ticket. Now I need two flights by 3/10/10. Man, FWPs

I guess I am bad at fine dining

Frozen escargot from a box is not the same as escargot at Whitehouse-Crawford. Man, FWPs.

You Get Mad If Anyone Thinks You Live Below Sunset

"Of course you can valet at the grocery store, but then you have to wait for them to find your car and it just goes on and on."

[Group nods in solemn agreement. "This is good wine," they each think, "but I've had better." ]

Man, FWPs

But I'm Not Christian

I didn't know what to ask for for Christmas so I asked for an iPod nano. Now I don't know what to get engraved on it. Man, FWPs

Debut

After months of following the FWPs blog I've finally been invited to contribute. Now I have to carefully craft the language around my FWPs. Man, FWPs

Just A Reminder: These Complaints (While Real) Are Shared Ironically

I keep feeling misled during my internship search. Man, FWPs

Lifetime Guarantee This!

The zipper on my L.L. Bean winter jacket gets stuck every time I try to take it (the jacket, not the zipper) off. Man, FWPs

A Remote Remote

I couldn't find the remote control and had to hold down the button on the cable box for over a minute to go from channel 6 to channel 61. While this was happening, I missed the beginning of The Daily Show. Man, FWPs

I Cannot Believe This Actually Happened

Friend (loosely paraphrased): My trust fund was smaller than everyone's except the Somalian kids' at our small, private liberal arts high school.

Me (quoted exactly): Wow.

Man, FWPs

Maybe I Am Trying To Be The Best At Exercise . . .?

It was cold when I went for my run tonight, and the wind kept blowing my sweatshirt's hood off my head and making my ears cold. (Thank God my tights had a wind panel!) Man, FWPs

"retirement"

my sister keeps getting on my case to start a Roth IRA but i really don't want to have to go through the 3 phone calls and moderate amount of paperwork involved. Man, FWPs

What About MY Needs

The peanut M&Ms are all mixed in with the normal M&Ms, even though I only want the former. Man, FWPs

The One In Which I Flip-Flop About Technology

On my new computer, if I try to listen to music, use Microsoft Word, and have more than three or four tabs open on my web browser, it gets slow. Like, really slow. Man, FWPs

There has been no internet in my house for three days now. Three. Days. Man, FWPs

The Holidays

I'm bored. Man, FWPs

America The Beautiful

I couldn't eat the turkey during Thanksgiving because it didn't meet my (admittedly arbitrary) dietary moral guidelines. Man, FWPs

I Thought Technology Was Supposed To Make Our Lives Easier, Part 2

I got a new cell phone, but since some of my numbers were saved to my phone and not my SIM card I had to take 25 minutes to transfer them into the new contact list. And those 25 minutes were during a football game that I would otherwise have been watching. Man, FWPs

A Perfect Storm

I had to back into a parking spot today which, god, I don't even like using that stupid reverse camera okay? And then, after everybody criticized what was obviously nothing short of a triumph over circumstances, I couldn't take my diet coke into a meeting, despite being tired, because nobody will consider my happiness or whatever it was I bitched about, extensively, at the time. Now I can't even remember. Man, FWPs

Opposite Day(??)

I feel 1: Maybe I am sick enough to be at risk of catching my own Tuberculosis and 2: Bill and Melinda Gates have not done enough for me, specifically. Man, "DN"Ps

I Just-- I Just Don't Want To, Eli.

I don't. Man, FWPs

Feeling A Little Passive Aggressive Today, Are We?

Neither of my co-bloggers are showing nearly enough commitment to this endeavor. How am I supposed to make this a legitimate meme all by myself? Man, FWPs

I've Got Love For You If You Were Born In The '80s

Both my cell phone and laptop are out of commission, and I feel naked. Man, FWPs

internet.......?

can't read internet and listen to Freakonomics audiobook anymore because i have to go to costco and buy bulk salmon for my pescetarian girlfriend tomorrow morning, Man, FWPs

"Brave Despite Tough Circumstances"

The treadmill in the gym at my house doesn't have a good place to put my ipod, so every 2minutes-ish I have to reach down and shift it about 10inches to the right so it doesn't jostle off the display ledge. This doesn't really interrupt my simultaneous watching of sports on a large TV, but still. Man, FWPs

Sophie's Choice

Can't decide if I'm "racist" or "just racist enough." Man, FWPs

The Joys Of Fall

It took forever for us to finish making our pumpkin/butternut squash soup, so by the time it was ready I was really hungry and ate way too much. Man, FWPs

As Good A Reason As Any

"I'll die if I can't have a slurpee. I'll kill myself." Man, FWPs

They flavored my iced coffee even though it was my regular coffee place and now it is undrinkable. Man, FWPs

Total Quack

I lowballed the shit out of my drinking habits and my new physician said I had a "problem" (other than his poor attitude). Man, FWPs

We're Almost As Cool As Trekkies

A friend of mine won't concede that "Star Wars" is sci-fi and not fantasy. Man, FWPs

I Have To Go To The Doctor Today.

The Doctor. Man, FWPs

Parents Just Don't Understand

Went to go lay out by the pool only to discover the cushions had already been put away for the harsh Southern California winter. Man, FWPs

Only A World Champion Belgian Cyclist

"I was very drunk. I do not know what happened, but the next day I tested positive for cocaine." Man, FWPs

Eli, Everybody

I'm not hungry, but I still want Ritz. Man, FWPs

Good Thing I'm Not Trying To Be The Best At Exercise

My luxury suite at the Kings game didn't have any food. Man, FWPs

Living In The Lap Of Luxury

I left my lunch on the charter bus and had to pay for a personal margherita pizza and cup of lobster bisque at the Yard House. Man, FWPs

The One In Which A Cartoon Expresses My Feelings

Conforming sucks. Man, FWPs

Can't make a post title when writing from my blackberry. Man, FWPs

I Want My Crapple!

I slept through the soft drink service on my flight, so I didn't get any Cran-Apple juice. Man, FWPs

Technology Does Make Our Lives Easier

There was no wireless at my friend's condo in Seattle, so we couldn't download the 3rd season of Friday Night Lights and had to settle for the abortion that is Season 2. Man, FWPs

Classic Edition

There was too much strawberry in the pint of neopolitan ice cream my boyfriend got me, even though he knows I like chocolate more. Man, FWPs

(Jake Menashe, DontDateHimGirl.com)

Dream, Deferred

How is it even possible to live without a Roomba. Man, FWPs

Goddamn

It is basically the worst when products get advertised on tv before they're available in stores. Been at least a week, guys. It's not like we navigate by the stars anymore, so get your shit together. Man, FWPs

I Thought Technology Was Supposed To Make Our Lives Better

My cell phone's predictive text doesn't predict the word blog. Not even on the third or fourth option. Man, FWPs

The Yuppie In His Natural Environment

I've got to print a resumé (and on fancy paper, at that!) and get it to Indianapolis by Thursday, but there's no FedEx Office within three miles of campus. Man, FWPs

Somebody Call Al Gore

Had to take the second string Lexus hybrid today, so didn't know the radio presets. Man, FWPs

Let's Take A Pedeconference

Can't watch West Wing by the pool, even though it's nice out. Man, FWPs

First Post, First Problem

You know what I hate? When you try to create a blog about first world problems, but the domain name firstworldproblems.blogspot.com is already taken. And so is 1stworldproblems.blogspot.com. Man, FWPs